Keeping Track of Lauren & Jack

November 2007

  • Fri, Nov 30, 2007 8:55 PM

    Thursday we went back to the same park for Lauren's playgroup and I was so relieved to see Jack happily climb up the same dreaded stairs he fell off the day before. Of course I was right on his tail the whole time, but he was not the slightest bit concerned. I had to give them both baths when we got home because there was considerable sand throwing by everyone.

    On a personal note, I had some really bad news. The professional acting job that I was supposed to start in January may fall through. They said they won't be able to offer me an Equity contract. (Equity is the actor's union.) They could offer me a Non-equity contract, but that means I would have to give up my Equity card to take it, which I really don't want to do. Major quandry. This is supposed to be why I'm in the union in the first place, so I don't get jerked around! I don't need to make a decision until Monday, and I'm hoping that somehow it will still work out. I guess I just need to wait and see.

    Today Jack did well for his My-gym class and then he accompanied me on some errands. We got Lauren a new little pink leotard for ballet, because, despite the fact that she never seems to eat anything, she does in fact seem to be growing! Then we went to the natural food store to get Sadie's dog food. Wow, that place is dangerous! By the time I got Jack's shampoo and toothpaste and Mike's soy ice cream, it really added up!

    Then later when Jack was napping I took Lauren to the grocery store. She is extremely excited about all the Christmas decorations. She wanted to touch everything though, which is not always possible and then. . . we had screaming. I did get a gingerbread house kit which should make for a fun activity sometime this weekend.

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  • Wed, Nov 28, 2007 9:06 PM

    Today we hosted playgroup at the park and everything was great until Jack fell backwards off the tall ladder of the slide. I was of course standing a few feet away but just far enough not to catch him. By some miracle he didn't hit the steps and landed on his shoulder/back in the sand. He cried hard for a minute or two and I was sure that I should run to the doctor, but the other moms said just wait a few minutes and see how he is. And he just got up and started playing again. I kept asking him if he hurt anywhere and he said no. He had sand in his hair and down his back, but once I wiped him off he was happy as a clam. Maybe a bit more subdued, but really fine. I was the one that was shaking and crying, just thinking of bad it so easily could have been. I took him home shortly afterward and gave him a bath and examined him from top to bottom and he didn't even have a bruise. That's the worst fall either one has taken and we were so lucky he didn't get hurt.

    I was a bit nervous putting him down for his nap, but it had been about 2 hours by that time. He did cry for a few minutes but that's how it's been since our trip. Tonight was a different story. I made the mistake of going in to him once because Sara had put him down. It used to be I could go in once and he would calm down, like he just wanted to say goodnight. But I think we have to be firm and just put him down and say that's it. He cried on and off for almost an hour. I didn't hear anything from Lauren, so either he's learning to drown it out or she was just too tired to be bothered.

    The last few weeks at ballet Lauren was asking about tap dance lessons, but they only start at age 5. I found some old tap shoes at a consignment store though, so she's been happily clonking around in the garage (the only place I will let her wear them - someone told me they'll ruin the tile.) I think I may have found another school not too far away so I have to inquire about their age restrictions. She's also been asking about karate which they do at school and I keep forgetting to get the info about it. At least that would be during her school hours. She's going to have a very full plate of activities if we do all that!

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  • Tue, Nov 27, 2007 11:44 PM

    Music Together class was actually sort of fun this morning. Both kids participated in most of the activities and they even seemed to be enjoying it! Too bad the class is over, because they are finally getting the hang of it. I will definitely sign up for the next session, but I've got to figure out what our schedule will be like.

    Nap time for Jack was just excruciating. I decided I had to resist going in and just let him cry it out. He screamed for abour an hour. He stood there screaming and was just incredulous that I wasn't coming to get him. I watched him very closely the whole time on the video monitor while I nervously ate my way through a half a bag of oreos. It was very difficult to watch, but I thought I just had to leave him alone, or we'll go back to dealing with him screaming at bedtime every time. He did finally fall asleep and had a 2 hour nap. I think it did help tonight because he only cried for a few minutes. Then a while later I was an idiot and woke him up with the clothes dryer which is right next to his room. (I just don't know when I'll ever get all this laundry done!) But he settled down again pretty quickly. I know that we'll just be getting back to normal when we head off for Oklahoma.

    This morning when I awoke to get Jack, Lauren was already up and had gone to the potty, peed a little in her panties which she had taken off, put in the hamper, then had already got herself some clean ones and put them on. All of this without crying for any help. That may not seem like a big deal but I think it shows a lot of independence. My little baby is starting to take care of herself! Not uncoincidentlly, she has developed an intense interest in her dolls lately. Yesterday she had a tea party/picnic on a blanket she spread out on the floor of her room for about 4 dolls and various stuffed animals. It was very cute.

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  • Mon, Nov 26, 2007 11:13 PM

    Despite going down very easily the first night back, (when he was exhausted from the trip) Jack has developed seperation anxiety in his crib. And I mean standing there SHREIKING like we haven't heard since over a year ago. He will calm down and lay down if you sit down in the room with him, but he somehow senses the moment you try to leave. It's absolute tyrany! I think letting him cry for a while might do the trick, but since Lauren had school today, I thought it wasn't fair to subject her to all the screaming last night. Lauren wasn't here for nap time today but he still screamed for about an hour and a half. On and off. Mostly on. He seems to settle for brief periods, and I can't figure out what sets him off, except we do hear some strange noises from the roof in his room, and we may have rats in our garage attic which is right next to his room. He did finally take a nap but woke up all sweaty which makes me worry again about sleep apnea. Tonight was no better, he took about 2 hours to finally sleep. I am worn out!

    On a lighter note, he continues to be fascinated with his privates during diaper changes. Today he said, "It's not an acorn, it's a spaceship!" As in flying saucer. And I could see where he thinks that, it does look a bit like that. I try not to laugh, but this is really good material to embarrass him with when he gets older!

    In an attempt to get a jump start on the holidays this year, we went and picked out a Christmas tree yesterday as well as and a wreath for the front door. Now the whole house smells like pine! Today we tackled some lights only to discover that many of the strings don't work. But we did get some twinkle lights onto one bush outside. The kids are very excited about the decorations this year. Tomorrow we will actually attempt to trim the tree. Should be interesting!

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  • Sat, Nov 24, 2007 10:13 PM

    We made it back from Buffalo with no great dramas which is reallly saying something these days! Jack slept a good deal of the flight so that helped, but the portable dvd player died early in the flight because somehow it wasn't charging the whole morning when the kids were watching Toy Story II. Oh well. As chance would have it we sat next to a woman who lived two doors down from my Aunt and Uncle! Small world. The kids seemed to be excited to get home to the playroom and all their toys. Lauren must have tried on all the shoes in her closet! (I'm telling you, shoe DIVA!) She was so pleased to be able to wear flip flops again because it's about 75 degrees here. I must admit it feels nice after the frigid lows in the 20's in Lewiston. Brrrr!

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  • Fri, Nov 23, 2007 4:39 PM

    Our trip out to Lewiston was relatively uneventful, except for the fact that neither child napped a wink so they were pretty wired when we got to the house. The first thing Lauren wanted to do was run around the house outside which was their favorite activity the last time we were here in the summer. It was a good thing we did that too, because the weather has taken a nosedive ever since. Wednesday we had cold rain most of the day. I took Lauren to the local library while Jack was napping, that was the only time we got out of the house.

    Thanksgiving day we had snow! The kids were thrilled and we took a walk up the hill. The wind was blowing and it was still coming down pretty hard. We didn't last too long, but at least this year I felt justified with all the cold weather gear I had bought. I was really glad their coats had hoods, plus they each had hats on underneath. Lauren's gloves are a bit big, but otherwise they were fairly well insulated. They didn't have snow boots, but their sneakers weren't too bad, and I brought extra shoes. They have been getting a little stir crazy with all the time inside. There has been a lot of screaming and time-outs. Plus, they are just not used to having to sit there after dinner while adults have conversation.

    The sleeping arrangements haven't been too bad. We set Lauren up in a corner with a foam mattress and some featherbed comforters. I decided to try Jack on the aero-bed for kids in another corner so that we could all try to be in the same room. It's worked surprisingly well. The first night they went right to sleep, but they were exhausted at that point. Napping has been a little challenging with them sharing a room, but it's been sort of nice all sleeping in the same room.

    This is the first Black Friday in quite a while that we have resisted going to the Outlet mall. Shopping was the last thing on my mind this year. We did go out in the snow this morning. Jack was very sullen during our quick jaunt around the block, but Lauren was having a great time and stayed outside with me making snow angels and having snowball fights. Other than that we've been eating and watching a lot of dvd's on the portable. It's always a fight between The Polar Express and Little Mermaid II.

    Oops, the kids have awoken from their naps. Lauren is begging to go outside again. It's something like 30 degrees out there. Yikes!

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  • Mon, Nov 19, 2007 10:56 PM

    This morning we got both kids up dressed, breakfasted and out the door by 8:35AM, which may not sound like an accomplishment to many, but it was very impressive to me! I had to take Jack with me since immediately after dropping Lauren off I needed to go up to Dade City (30 miles) to drop Sadie off at "the ranch" - the house of Mike's colleague Sharon. Of course when we got up there, Jack wanted to get out and look at the horses etc. Somewhere in there I managed to lose my cell phone which was annoying because I spent the rest of the day tracking it down and retrieving it! Ugh. So I'm still packing and it's getting late. We're off to Lewiston in the morning to see my Aunt Reinhild and Uncle Joe. Not looking forward to the traveling but I will be very glad to get there!

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  • Sun, Nov 18, 2007 11:09 PM

    Phew! What a weekend! Saturday we went downtown to see the Wiggles live. The kids were very excited, but the show was unfortunately at 1:30PM, smack in the middle of nap time. At first they were dancing around like crazed fans, but about 30 minutes in they started to fade. After an hour Lauren was asking after every song if we were done and can we go home now. But I think overall they really enjoyed it. Jack crashed out in the car on the way home, but again did not transfer into the crib. Not long after we were back home, our former nanny Ashley came to babysit since Sara wasn't available, and the kids were very excited to see her. It was much better than having a complete stranger, so it's good to know we have a back-up person. Mike and I went out to a dinner party during which I spent most of my time talking about the kids! Go figure!

    Today Lauren and I went to a Princess Tea Party/Lunch at the Kidz Club. We took Taylor with us and the girls had so much fun. Lauren dressed in her new Sleeping Beauty gown, and Taylor wore her Alice in Wonderland outfit that she wore for Halloween. They put on a little make-up and posed for pictures, and frolicked around in princess heaven. The tea was so cute, with real ceramic cups and saucers and tiny teapots filled with apple juice and lemonade and lukewarm herbal tea. They had little finger sandwiches, pigs-in-a-blanket, cupcakes, as well as other munchie snacks. They had a craft activity where they decorated frames with foam stickers, and a wonderful circle time with stories, songs, dancing and bubbles. And they had goody bags when they left which included a small bottle of sparkly nail polish which Lauren insisted I put on her toes when she awoke from her nap.

    If that wasn't enough Taylor time, we went for a walk before dinner, and the kids ran up and rang her bell, so she came with us. We went to the playground with the swings. One thing I'm noticing which could develop into a problem is that Jack is becoming a third wheel with the two girls. They want to walk along holding hands, and Jack wants to join in, but they don't always want to include him. I've been trying to cultivate some little buddies for him to play with, but it's a shame we don't have any that live on our street so we could have these impromptu play dates. Maybe he'll buddy up with Hailey once she starts walking.

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  • Fri, Nov 16, 2007 9:23 PM

    Today Lauren went dressed to school in all her new red clothing, even though I was trying to convince her that it wasn't warm enough. I think it was ok becuase she had tights and a sweater on. She did look cute, but rather Christmas-y in all the red with white tights. She looked like one of Santa's elves!

    Jack did well at his MyGym class, even though he always seems to take his milk break during the structured play activities, which is where I think he needs the most help. Oh well. The class he's in now is supposed to go up to age 2 1/2, so he's getting to be one of the older kids, and he's certainly the biggest. But I don't think he's really ready for the next class yet. He still has quite a time listening and taking directions. We might try out the next one up on Monday just to see.

    After class I decided to take him with me down to Brandon to look for his shoes in the right size. What a wild goose chase that turned out to be. I finally found them at the 4th store, but by then Jack was just tuckered out. He fell asleep in the car before we got home, which never happens these days. I didn't manage to transfer him into his crib without waking him up, and he never really got back to sleep. What a disaster! But we now have his winter suede sneakers which will be great for the next few months. I now think we have all we need for our trip next week. Phew! Now I just have to get everything washed and packed. Not looking forward to that!

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  • Wed, Nov 14, 2007 11:56 PM

    Today was a perfect day for Jack's playgroup in the park. Even though he got sand everywhere, he had a good two hours of running around and sliding which was well worth it.

    I decided to take Lauren with me to the mall after pickup from preschool to make sure of her sizes. I finally found them both warm jackets at Old Navy, but Lauren is sort of straddling sizes these days, so I wanted to actually try things on her in the store, which is the first time I've done that in a while. Of course then she wanted all sorts of other things. I mananged to whittle it down to a few favorites, including some adorable red ballet flats. She's becoming a shoe diva just like Mom (Just call me Imelda!)But of course there was a Hello Kitty shop on the way back to the car, so I told her she could get one thing and she picked a Snow White highlighter pen. Now I'm remembering why I don't usually bring her with me!

    I got back to discover that Jack had been whimpering for me ever since he woke from his nap. I told Sara to call me on my cell phone so he can talk to me when that happens. I think it does help for them to connect to me, even very briefly. It seems to make it less abstract that I'm not there, but I'm still available. Whenever they say they miss Daddy that's what I do. Also, if I had known he was so miserable we could have come back sooner.

    I'm a bit worried about that with my new acting job coming up in January. I just got my reheasal and performance schedule and it's going to be some long hours away. I had been considering putting Jack into preschool two mornings a week, but I don't think I will, because with naps taking up a chunk of the afternoon, that means I would never see him, if I'm gone by 4 or 5PM. Maybe in the summer we'll try out some summer camps. I don't think he's at all ready yet anyhow.

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  • Tue, Nov 13, 2007 11:58 PM

    We had our last Music Together class for this session today. It wasn't especially inspiring. Jack did his usual screaming for milk and rolling around on the floor. Lauren was a bit better, but even she had to have a time out. I was almost at my wit's end by the end of class. Luckily there's a nice playground at the communiy center wherethe class is held, so they got to let off some steam before heading home for lunch and naps.

    This afternoon we had an impropmtu play date over at Taylor's. There was all the usual dressing up in Princess regalia and running around. Hailey is crawling and pulling up which I can't beleive! She just stares at the chaos in amazement and seems like she really wants to follow the chase! Both Lauren and Jack are enthralled with Taylor's big girl bed which is admittedly a beautiful wrought iron full size bed. It's making me think that maybe they're ready to make the switch to their own big kid beds. I'm pretty sure Lauren is ready, but I'm not sure about doing them both at the same time. Or maybe it's me that's not ready!

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  • Mon, Nov 12, 2007 8:38 PM

    The weekend went by quietly enough. I went up to Raleigh, NC to see my friend Brian in a play. The kids and Mike somehow seemed to survive without me. I just went for the night. Apparently on Sunday Mike took them to the new local ToysRus grand opening which included visits with various characters like a big bear and snow white. And there was a bounce house - always a big hit with Lauren. She loves them so much, in fact, we're planning her birthday party in January at Pump It Up, a big indoor bounce house place.

    I'm only getting around now to planning her party. It seemd like it was so far off, but with the holidays looming, its creeping up on me fast! Luckily, Lauren is like Mike, she's very decisive, and once she's decided what she wants, that's it, she doesn't change her mind. So this year it's Dora the Explorer. I kept trying to talk her into something else, just because I don't really like the colors. (I know, that's trite of me!) But actually Dora is a great theme because she's a good role model and both boys and girls seem to like her. I had the idea to do little back-packs as invitations which I have foolishly decided to make! It shouldn't be too hard, but I'm not the really craftiest of people. I would also like to have little backpacks as goody bags, but I'm having trouble finding something appropriate which aren't 8 bucks a piece! Oh well, I'm sure I'll figure something out.

    I'm also trying to get ready for our Thanksgiving trip to Buffalo next week. I've been getting all of Lauren's winter clothes out, and some of her sweaters still may fit. But I realized that I don't have a warm jacket for either child. Sara suggested I go to Steve and Barry's at our local mall, which is a store I've never heard of before. They're a bit like Old Navy, and their prices were amazing! I think it's my new favorite store. I wonder if they're online. . . (Later) I just checked and alas you cannot order online, but that's not a huge worry since they are close by! One of the reasons she suggested it was because last year I got a jacket "system" for Jack at Target which was perfect, because it was a co-ordinating fleece and a shell. You could wear them together as a warm coat for when we head to colder climes, or seperately, which is perfect for here in Florida when we sometimes just need a light jacket. They don't seem to have the same system at Target this year, (not yet anyway), but they do have it at Steve and Barry's! It was in the big kid section and they didn't have Lauren's size, but I got one for Jack for next year. Hopefully it will fit correctly at that point!

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  • Fri, Nov 9, 2007 11:18 PM

    The temperatures have dropped dramatically around here, which for us means we can actually wear long sleeves and pants, and even the occasional light jacket or sweater. It's been such great play weather we've been getting out to the park every chance we get. Today we met up with Allison, Taylor & Hailey for a walk which wound up being just to the playground right around the corner. An ice-cream van came by, which was so strange because I don't remember seeing him a few weeks ago when it was still 90 degrees! The kids got popsicles and managed to make a complete mess, but it was sort of fun, if not strange considering we were all a bit chilly as the sun went down. Jack wouldn't really eat his unless I bit off chunks for him. He gets the funniest look on his face when he has something really cold!

    I finally heard back from another private school I'd like to look at, but they're not accepting applications until February, so at least I didn't miss any deadlines. I hope to make an appointment for a tour some time next week. Allison was telling me that one of our neighbors (who has very high standards) had her son in one private school across town, then switched him to a Catholic school, and finally he wound up at right here at our local public elementary school which is just down the street. So I plan to talk to that neighbor more about her experiences. I'm trying to do all this research so that eventually I can make an informed decision, but I'm also trying not to overthink it too much, because for all I know we may be moving in a few year's time!

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  • Tue, Nov 6, 2007 10:38 PM

    We blew off Music Together class this morning in favor of a day trip to Disneyworld. Our neighbors Allison and Taylor left baby Hailey at home with the babysitter and we met their friends Jodie and Jacob when we got to the parking lot. The double stroller was resurrected after I ran over it in the garage. Mike just popped the wheel right back on. It's a little more wobbly than before, but it rolls, and that's all that matters. As it turns out, not only am I chopped liver with Lauren when Allison is around, but now also with Jack. They did NOT want to ride in the stroller and did NOT want to hold my hand. Other than that they did pretty well considering we blew right through nap time. Well, Jack did manage a half-hour power nap in the stroller, but that was it. We went on the train which Jack kept calling the Polar Express. Then we went on Buzz Lightyear Space Ranger ride which was fun because the cars would spin. Then we did the Winnie the Pooh ride. Then we had lunch and they ate fairly well, but were practically hysterical afterward. I finally just put jack in the stroller with his sippy cup of milk and he fianlly calmed down. That was when the nap came in. Lauren went with the others on the Teacups, the carousel and It's a Small World, while Jack napped and I chatted on my cell phone. I have a new bluetooth ear-piece and apparently I looked as if I was talking to myself, becuase it's wireless and so small that you can't even see it with my hair covering it! No wonder I was getting some funny looks!

    Then the kids blew off some steam in the Winnie the Pooh playground which has a house in a tree just like in the story. I swear that seemed to be the most fun they had all day, and it was really just a simple playground. Then we did the Peter Pan ride which was cool, you feel like you're flying! Then we did the Barnstormer which is a kiddie rollercoaster. Lauren loved it, but Jack was screaming when it got to his turn, so I just took him off. Afterwards I realized that it probably wasn't the ride so much as he wanted to sit with Allison. Then we did the Indy race cars when Jack did deign to sit with me, but only becuase I let him steer, which he was thrilled about! Then we did the slow people mover thing in Tomorrowland and one last riide through Buzz Lightyear because there was no line. Then we had a quick dinner and we were out of there. Lauren was whining because she wanted to stay for the fireworks, but I think they had a great day. Allison had driven us all since she has a cross-over car with a third row. Jack sat in the back and chattered and yelled and asked questions the whole way home. The girls both crashed, but he was wide awake and would not quiet down.

    I don't know how we're going to get Lauren off to school tomorrow after such a huge day! Now I've got to go collapse. . .

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  • Mon, Nov 5, 2007 4:54 PM

    I took Jack to Playdoughpalooza this morning after dropping Lauren off at school. It's just a class at the Kids Club. I really should have just gone to the park because it's just beautiful out. It's finally cooled down to the 70's/80's, which I know is not that cool, but it is for us! Anyway, Jack was not that thrilled with their playdough, and they didn't even have better playdough toys, so I don't know if I'll go specifically for that again. On the way home we went by the grocery store and Jack was grabbing candy bars off the shelf at the check-out counter, yelling "Chocolate!!" I guess his sweet tooth is here with us to stay.

    Lauren came home from school actually saying she was hungry which is so unlike her, but I'm glad she's actually showing some appetite. I think she gets too excited during school to eat very much. When I picked her up they were doing a game where each person got a chance to dance and Lauren was up there dancing a jig!

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  • Sun, Nov 4, 2007 9:06 PM

    Today I took Lauren to lunch at Cracker Barrel and then to a matinee of our local community theatre's production of "Little Shop of Horrors". She really enjoyed it. She stayed pretty quiet, except for the moments when she wanted to dance in the aisle. It was during a quieter ballad, so I had to restrain her! After the show she was thrilled to meet members of the cast who always come out and greet everyone. She even begged to get up on stage and was twirling around. A few people asked her if she was going to be an actress and she said no! But she was certainly acting like she liked the spotlight. Hmmm, wonder where she got that from?

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  • Sat, Nov 3, 2007 8:22 PM

    Cute after-bath moment tonight. I had Jack on his changing mat on the floor where I put his diaper and pajamas on. He sat up, and looked down at his penis and said, in a rather surprised tone, "It's an acorn!" I almost peed in my pants I was laughing so hard. I tried to tell him it was his penis, (since I'm TRYING not to use too many euphemisms), but he kept insisting it was an acorn, as if it had landed there in his lap from outer space. I had to admit to him that it did look sort of like an acorn, but acorns fall from trees and this was part of his body. He remains unconvinced!

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  • Fri, Nov 2, 2007 11:25 PM

    Today Lauren had school and Jack had MyGym class. I feels like ages since I've been to that class becuase Mike took him two weeks ago, and then we missed last week. But he did pretty well. He still is pretty resistant to participating in the structured group activities like circle time. But he seems to be improving on some physical things like balance and jumping.

    On the way home I took him to look for holiday shoes at Payless and was surprised that according to them, he doesn't even measure as wide, because he's extra wide at Stride Rite. Maybe he's going to grow out of being so wide and we can start buying him shoes at more places! That will be exciting. Then we walked next door to Marshalls to look for Halloween costumes on clearance. They were pretty picked over, but I got a batman costume that will probably fit next year and with 75% off it came to $1.75! Even if he just uses it for dress up, it was well woth the money.

    I was so encouraged by that find, that I felt inspired after picking up Lauren from school to go see what Wal-mart had to offer. They were also pretty picked over, but we got some new princess dresses and even a fire-fighter outfit for Jack. The problem was she also insisted on getting the Sleeping Beauty costume which was not on sale, as well as the accessory jewellery pack! And did I, the grown-up who should have more sense, simply tell her no? Of course not! I can NOT buy her anything else at this point or Christmas won't even seem like anything special.

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  • Thu, Nov 1, 2007 11:17 PM

    I took Lauren with me to an open house of another private school. This one is much closer, and I can't believe I haven't heard more about it. I wasn't wowed by the physical campus, some of the rooms seemed sort of small to me, but they had a great student/teacher ratio and I liked the general vibe of the teachers and administrators. They were very respectful to the students which was nice to see, and the students seemed very polite in turn, and I do think those two things are connected. I'm still not sure about the curriculum, but I can find out more details about that. My neighbor Allison told me that another neighbor has her daughter there, and one of Mike's colleague has her son there also, so I can find out more from them. Their kids are at the high school level, but it's always good to get an insider's perspective. It's definitley a good contender. It's a hard decision, but I'm going to reserve my judgment until I go see our public elementary school.

    Otherwise it was a difficult afternoon. Somehow both of them were whining and screaming almost constantly and it's hard to say exactly why. (Do we ever really know why?) Lauren had pretty much skipped her nap, but Jack napped well, so I don't know what his excuse was! I promised if they ate all their dinner that they could have one treat from their stash - a promise I am comfortable making becasue it almost never happens. And it didn't happen tonight. That's why Mike and I always end up eating all the candy. I tell myself that I'm sacrifing myself so that they don't have all that sugar, but who am I kidding?

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